thursday.23

i hate having good days… i just makes me forget about how my relationship sucks how much i suck….   Advertisements

tuesday.22 (still starting over)

i have triggers… lying to me about where you are and when you are working vs. not working really set me off…. how am i to trust when i dont know where you are… why won’t you tell me… what are you hiding from me… if it is not important you should have no problem […]

sunday.21 (still starting over)

he wants me to initiate more… but when i do i don’t get to come. he claims his cumming takes too much out of him, and he doesn’t have the energy or coordination to get me off….  but i can’t wait around for him to initiate sex, because we would only be doing it 2-3 […]

Starting Over: Saturday.21

i told him… i told him about the depression… about my fears… about wanting to to stop hurting myself… and he just sat there and listened… he held my hand… and was just wonderful, and supportive… i need to see a doctor about my depression… and probably get on some sort of medication…. i need […]

thursday.2.21

the darkness… the emptiness… the wanting the yearning the need    i just want…. to be loved… why won’t anyone… love me…. maybe this is it… this is the end… i have no one to blame but myself…. i think about what why is the most humane way… the most peaceful to both me and […]

why i have trust issues

because you don’t listen/answer you voicemail for 5 days because when you say you want to spend time with me you actually spend more time away… because when you say you’ll be home, you end up being six hours late (SIX HOURS) because you always become unreachable when you are hanging out with your ex […]

thursday.21

the kid is gone til the 28th…. that gives me 14 days to figure out how to do it…. how to make sure my kid doesn’t blame themselves… for it is not their fault… I Love My Son!!!   when it is all gone and dead and gone… like a frozen wasteland… death the final […]